Seminary Humor--CSL

JDL, 11/13/92, All rights up for grabs   

My faith is based on nothing less Than existential "clickiness" 

Inerrancy's a feeble frame--I lean on--uh, it has no name... 

On "Click" the Solid Rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand!

E'en in the midst of "Dunkel" thick I rest on this Bultmanian "Click" 

I dare not trust the Bible's "truth" I cling to "clickiness," forsooth! 

On "Click" the Solid Rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand!

This "Click," this Sarte-inspired "thud" Supports me in the whelming flood 

Enmeshed in this postmodern fray I'll stick with "Click," let come what may.

On "Click" the Solid Rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand!

Teetering on the epistemological abyss I'll trust my soul to naught but this: 

I know my "Click," my "Click" knows me My "Click" defines reality.

On "Click" the Solid Rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand.

When Christ shall come with trumpet sound Oh, may I hear that "Click" profound 

Resounding in my psyche strong Stirred by that "Click," I can't go wrong! 

On "Click" the Solid Rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand!

Tune: Regent Square; alt. tune New Haven

1993, by EWB 

Scoffers from the realms of Synod, Come and join our scoffers' school. 

It is not the Seminary, But we meet here as a rule.

Refrain: Let's be scoffers, let's be critics, Scoffing all we do not know!

Here's the Scoffers' Bench we sit on; And from here we scrutinize 

All the problems—We don't solve them. We just like to criticize! Refrain. 

Come and sit here—Join the critics On this Scoffer's Bench we've found. 

One more cynic, that's what's needed! We will turn this church around! Refrain.

Little knowledge is a danger. We will prove this every day.

Come and sit with us and listen To the ill-thought things we say. Refrain.

"Those who cannot do are teachers, And the rest administrate."

As for us, we can't do either: We just sit and opinionate!

Refrain, Refrain! Please, Refrain! 

Event 1974, song 1994 by EWB

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful split,

That started by assuming that we could use Higher Crit.

The Profs were some mighty thinking men, but laymen were not sure

That we could so treat the text and still have faith endure, and still have faith endure.
The Archway then was boarded up, the tiny Sem was tossed.
If not for the courage of the faithful few the Bible would be lost, 

the Bible would be lost.

But as it was the rest walked out, marching single file,

With the president, the students too, a marching band (get a life!), 

The media, most professors but not Scharlemann, here at Sem in Exile!

Note: This song is an expression of the community’s experience and in no way is to be taken as a historical record of actual events. One must always separate the “sem of faith” from the “Concordia of history.”